Happy 4th Birthday, Megan

Our birthday girl!

Well, today is the day....Megan turned four years old! (As I write this, it's 7:55 p.m., so technically, she wasn't born yet four years ago...that didn't happen until 9:22 p.m.) Before I write any further, I want to apologize for not posting more pictures from today, but we're leaving for Arizona the day after tomorrow, and I've only gotten about 10% of the packing done at this point, if that...therefore much must be done tonight!

We had such a great day today, from start to finish. This morning both Bill and I went in to her room to get her after she woke up, and serenaded her with her first "Happy Birthday" of the day. "Who woke me up today?" is always an important topic in our nightly wrap-up of the day's events (which is pretty funny, because it is Megan who wakes US up most mornings, but that's how she refers to the first person who comes into her room each morning). After breakfast, Megan and Rachel had a fun bath together, complete with bathtub crayons. This was Rachel's first time trying these out, and we only hope that she will not think this means it's OK to color on the walls with regular crayons!

After the bath it was off to PlayWorld, an indoor play place in Grandville. It was our first visit there, because although I had heard about it awhile ago, Megan was pretty timid about climbing and tumbling up until fairly recently. She would NEVER have done these things a year ago! But today, she absolutely loved it. They have a giant "moon bounce," some big inflatable slides and "mazes," and a large maze of rope ladders, tunnels, tubes, and slides, complete with ball pits. Megan absoultely loved it. I can't help but reminisce about the time last year (fall of 2007) during MOPS when I took her, with some of the moms in my MOPS group and their kids, to a McDonald's Playland. She would have nothing to do with any of it, even though little ones half her age were climbing far above our heads! Needless to say, she's come very far! Little Rachel wanted so badly to keep up with her big sister! We could tell she really wanted to try out the big rope ladder/maze/tube/slide contraption. We did let her crawl around in one of the "moon bounce" portions when no other kids were in it, which she did for quite awhile, and loved. She kept trying to stand in it but really couldn't do that too well. Since adults can't go up into the other parts, she had to stay pretty grounded.

The other fun thing they had at PlayWorld was a "toddler area" full of Little Tikes play houses and Cozy Coupe cars. Both the girls loved this area. Rachel found one particular "club house" contraption that she hung out on for a good 20 minutes. She also liked trying to ride the cars, although she can't really get them to go very well on her own yet.

We had lunch at PlayWorld (Megan was in heaven, because she got to eat a hot dog, and Rachel enjoyed mooching off of my pizza slice), and then went out to the Rivertown Mall to buy new Stride Rite tennis shoes for the girls. They were having a buy one get one 50% off sale. Sounds like a great deal, yet somehow my bill still ended up being around $80. Those shoes are ridiculous. But they're so good, and our girls' feet are so bad, so I kind of feel obligated. Megan was a bit disappointed that the carousel at the mall was temporarily shut down when we went to ride it, but her mood was uplifted when we got cookies from Mrs. Fields' instead.

After nap/quiet time at home, Megan got to open her presents. She received a Leapster game system from us, as well as three games (Dora, Backyardigans from Rachel, and a Create-A-Creature game). We are hoping this will amuse her on the plane and in the car during our trip. She's played with one at some friends' houses and seemed to really enjoy it. She also received six little tiny fairy dolls from the Tinkerbell movie (quite the recurring theme throughout this birthday!). Unfortunately we didn't have a lot of time to play with the new stuff today, but Megan was such a good sport about it.

We did our annual mark on the wall to document Megan's four-year-old height, and she has grown about 3 inches since her 3rd birthday! After this tradition it was off to the restaurant of Megan's choice, Bob Evans. I really don't know what the draw is but the girl LOVES this place. She was very excited that we let her get pancakes for dinner. At home, we enjoyed flower shaped cupcakes. Megan's even had a tiny...you guessed it....Tinkerbell, and her ladybug friend, on it.

It is so hard to believe that four years have gone by since I was lying in the hospital at this moment, waiting for my C-section, wondering whether we'd have a boy or a girl. I can't believe the little baby I cradled in my arms back then is four years old already. Four is so big! To me, four is really and truly the official end of babyhood. Four year olds are so independent, wanting so badly to be ready to set off into the big world (even if their mommies aren't ready to let them!). Megan is growing in leaps and bounds. Just in the last week or so she has suddenly become able to write her entire first name! (Still needs some work on the "G" and the "N", but they're recognizable!). She can put on her coat by herself. She can go potty entirely by herself (even if she still needs help wiping when it's #2). She likes to play outside on our deck even when I'm staying inside (as long as she knows I'm watching her). Sometimes I feel like I blinked and I missed the last four years. I feel like we're hurtling out of control, toward a time when she won't want me around, when she thinks I'm embarassing, when "I love you, Mommy" doesn't come out of her mouth at least 10 times a day, like it does now.

At the same time, though, when I think about the fact that four years ago, I wasn't a mother, I can hardly believe that either. Indeed, four years ago today was not only Megan's birth, but was also the birthday of me becoming a mother. Hard to believe that until this day four years ago, I didn't know how something would wrench inside me every time one of my children gets hurt, or gets their feelings hurt (by me or by someone else). I didn't know how I would become completely unable to listen to any bad stories in the news about babies or children, because these stories always make me think about my own little girls. I didn't know what it felt like to feel this fierce, intense emotion every night when I go into my sleeping children's rooms to kiss them goodnight. I didn't know the infinite and limitless span of my own patience, which I have learned to cultivate in the last four years (and which is still, of course, a work in progress). I didn't know how much housework or other "to do list" stuff I could cram into an hour while the girls are napping. I didn't know how very hard it could be to be someone's mother, yet how amazing, and wonderful, and fulfilling. It's true that it can be easy to lose your own individual identity when you are so consumed with the everyday tasks and challenges of mothering small children. I have worked really hard to make sure that I maintain my sense of self, my own interests and dreams apart from this most important role. Yet I can hardly remember the person I used to be before I was a mother. It seems like my life began the moment I became entrusted with these tiny little babies, making that awesome covenant to take care of them for the rest of my life. I wouldn't change any of it for anything in the world.

And so on this most important day, I say, Happy Birthday, dear Megan. Thank you for giving me this wonderful opportunity to be your mommy. Thank you for the joy and light and laughter that you bring to my life every day, and for teaching me far more than I could ever teach you. Now, stop growing so fast, and please stay right where you are! (I guarantee you that if not tomorrow, it will be very soon that Megan starts asking, "When am I going to be FIVE?" Oh, Lord.....)